


The Triangle

by LienidQueen



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Love Triangle, Multi, obvi, ya girl loves a good love triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 06:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LienidQueen/pseuds/LienidQueen
Summary: Kensi and Deeks. Eric and Abby. Nate gone. Nell here. So much has changed since Nate left. But now he's back. And all hell is about to break loose. References to NCIS, Kensi/Deeks established.*repost from FF, now complete!*





	1. Chapter 1

Kensi looked out the windows into the Los Angeles sunlight. The sun was barely up and shades of rose and orange were streaking into the bullpen.

“Kensi?” Callen asked, and she snapped from her faze.

“What?”

“I asked you four times to get the Brandon case file.” Had he really? She really hadn’t been paying attention.

“Oh. Sorry,” she said, pulling the manila folder from the stacks on her desk and handing it to him.

“Kensi, you okay?” Sam asked, drumming his fingers on his thigh as he usually did when he was concerned. Kensi chose to ignore that observation.

“I’m fine,” she said, and waved him off, but as she waved her hand caught a glint of sunlight.

On her left hand was a beautiful silver ring with a flower-shaped diamond in the center surrounded by four tiny sapphires. Just seeing it glint on her finger made Kensi subconsciously smile as she admired it.

“Oh, she’s thinking about her boy again,” Sam commented, and she shot him an annoyed look. “Callen, why did we keep Kensi when we should have kept Deeks?”

“Because Deeks was already LAPD, and Kensi was already NCIS,” Callen added. “It made sense to just send Deeks back to LAPD.”

“Not when it means Kensi goes daydreamer on us all the time,” Sam said.

“Be quiet both of you,” Kensi snapped, and then her face softened into a smile.

“Okay, something needs to be done about her,” Sam pointed out. “She’s going to drive me insane.”

“Agreed,” said a voice behind Kensi, and she spun when she heard it. “Something needs to be done.”

Her favorite guy in the world was standing behind her, sandy blond hair shining in the sunlight and his characteristic smirk on his face.

“Marty!” she yelled, and launched at him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close for a long, deep kiss. To Kensi he tasted delicious: a little bit like peppermint, a little bit like coffee, and a little bit like mustard.

“Hey gorgeous,” he whispered in her ear.

“You came back. I missed you,” she said. “I thought I wouldn’t see you for another three days because of the undercover op.”

“Caught the sleaze bag earlier than we thought, so I went home, took a shower-”

“Thank God,” she teased, and he kissed her temple.

“-and thought I would come and say hi.” He let go of one side of her waist so they could face Callen and Sam.

“Hey guys,” Deeks said.

“Hey there, sunshine,” Sam offered.

“Sunshine? Oh, my hair. Well, now that I’m back at PD I’m outside more, not cooped up in the office,” Deeks added. “How’ve you been, Callen?”

“Fine. Your fiancée needs to get her brain screwed back on straight,” Callen observed, and Kensi blushed.

“D’you hear that, Kensi? You need to stop thinking about me,” Deeks teased.

“Not going to happen,” Kensi said, and kissed him again.

“Miss Blye, Mr. Deeks,” Hetty commented, making the two nearly jump. “I trust this is not a usual occurrence?”

“No, Hetty,” Kensi replied, embarrassed. “Marty just finished with his UC op, so he came to say hi. I doubt any of you have seen him since he left NCIS in March.”

“I did actually see Sam at one of our old cafes a couple weeks back,” Deeks commented.

“You didn’t say hi,” Sam said, acting hurt.

“You were talking to a Russian arms dealer, Sam,” Deeks added. “Figured you were working a case.”

“Fair enough,” Sam said.

A loud whistle sounded from the upstairs balcony. Everyone turned to see Eric holding his laptop and urging his crew upstairs. Callen and Sam were the first up, followed by Hetty, followed by Kensi’s replacement partner and LAPD liaison (Deeks tried not to think that this guy was replacing him) Andy Cartwright, followed by Deeks and Kensi, holding hands.

Kensi had become quite comfortable in her life. She started dating Marty, then he proposed, which boomeranged him back to PD ops, which got her Cartwright, and now she was living in an apartment with Deeks and still working at NCIS. It was perfect.

When they all reached MTAC, Kensi was further reminded of the changes that had occurred in the span of a year. Eric’s desk, which used to be crowded with tech devices and papers and formulas and codes and other miscellaneous items, was now fully functioning and organized for all things work-related, and he had a corkboard above his computer that had over thirty pictures of Eric and Abby at various places during their cross-country nerd-off challenge.

That irritating fount of infinite wisdom known as Nell had appeared at his side, pointing out anomalies in the programming to Callen and Sam.

“So this is what’s up,” Eric said, pulling up photos and videos as he explained the information. It took all of the focus she had to keep on what Eric was saying and not the hand that was currently sitting on her ass.

“And so,” Hetty said, “because of the major psychological problems with this case, one of our old teammates will be returning to assist us.”

Kensi knew what that meant. She prayed she was wrong. And she failed, evidently, as she could feel a very tall presence behind her.

“Well isn’t this adorable,” Nate said from behind her, indicating Deeks’ hand on her butt. Kensi used her left hand on Deeks’ shoulder to turn and face him, but that seemed to make Nate’s tone even more sarcastic than it already was. “A ring? Oh, and a beautiful one at that. This is just so precious, Kens.” Kensi cringed at the nickname.

“Hi, Nate,” she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hi, Nate.”

Kensi was in shock- she had never expected him to come back.

Everyone mobbed Nate, asking him how he was and giving the giant “bro-hugs”. She didn’t have to feign happiness though, because Deeks was doing just as lousy a job.

Thank heavens for Hetty, though, because after twenty seconds of niceties she herded the team around to do this job and that, which allowed Kensi to leave the Ops Center.

* * *

 

“So that was Nate,” Deeks said, on their way home after work, practically devoid of emotion.

“Yeah,” was the only answer she could muster.

“Some how, I remembered him shorter.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Well, I mean, I knew he was a giant, but after two years without seeing him, I kind of forgot. I rationalized that there could have been no one that tall, and that I had just exaggerated his size. But he’s tall.”

“Nate just came back from the dead, practically, and you’re commenting on how short he is?” Kensi really didn’t know what to think about that.

“Well, it’s either that or think about how jealous I am that he knew you before me.” Deeks tried to laugh to lighten the tension that was suffocating the car.

Wrong move.

It hit Kensi like a well-placed blow to the gut- suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. _How he knew_ me, she thought. _That’s a nice way to put_ it. She turned her face to a blank slate and turned to look out the window.

“Kens,” Deeks started, trying to reach out to her arm, but at the nickname she pulled away.

 _Curl up, girlfriend_ , Kensi thought. _Just curl up into your shell until he’s gone_.

Deeks, realizing when he had hit a wall, put his hand back on the steering wheel and drove them home.

* * *

 

“Kensi, do you want something to drink?” Deeks asked her around nine. She had sat on that sectional couch since they got home.

It killed him the way she was acting. Kensi had wrapped herself in their big blanket on the couch when they got home, curled up under the soft folds of synthetic fabric, staring off into space. She was sitting on the sectional couch- it was a weird navy color, and whenever the team came over they pulled it apart for chairs to play cards. Or Pictionary. Or to watch sports when the guys got their way.

“Kens,” he started, but when her shoulders stiffened he realized his mistake. He paused for her to relax again.

“Sweetie, I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ve got to be back at PD early tomorrow. Come on in when you want.” He kissed the back of her curly head of hair and padded to the bedroom. He wasn’t going to push her tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey Kensi- can I talk to you for a minute?”

Kensi looked up from her magazine at her desk and shrugged. “I guess.”

“Come on,” he said, dragging her up the staircase and into the training room.

“What? You want to spar? Nate-“

Nate stopped her train of thought by leaning down to kiss her. _Quite passionately_ , Kensi thought. _No one can say the guy isn’t spontaneous. But I think random might be a better assessment_.

“Um, Nate?” She asked, shaken. What just happened?

“Sorry, Kensi. I’ve been trying not to do that for practically four years now. And now I’m good.” He started to walk away, but Kensi grabbed his arm and pulled him back, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

“Kensi?”

“You stupid, stupid psychologist. Why the hell haven’t you done that before now?”

“Um….”

“I’ll see you later,” she said, and walked out of the training room. There was a fire in the pit of her stomach, and for some reason, she couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe it had something to do with him kissing her. Or maybe it was her kissing him. She really didn’t know.

* * *

 

Dom had been shot. He died. Her partner was killed. And she was never going to forget it.

He held her close. They just lay there for hours, lost in their thoughts after Kensi had come to his house that night in tears.

“I’m never going to let anything happen to you ever again.”

Kensi sat up, shivering from the cold in Nate’s apartment. “Nate, you’re going to leave someday. The men in my life? They always leave. My dad left me for the next world, Dom did too. What makes you any different?”

“I’m not different. But I’m going to stay. I’m not better than Dom, or cleverer than your dad. But I am always, _always_ going to be here.”

She turned and pecked him on the lips.

“I’m going to hold you to that, you know,” she whispered.

“I know.”

* * *

 

“Come on Kensi,” Nate whined. “Why are you so adamant that I don’t get a gun?”

They were in Kensi’s car out on assignment. An assignment that Callen had told her to take Nate on. Kensi had to feign irritation, and she thought she pulled it off well.

“Because, Nate,” she said. “Because if you get a gun, then Callen will be more willing to put you in the line of fire. And if that happens, I not only have to worry about Callen and Sam and me, I also have to worry about you. I am _not_ going to lose another guy, Nate.”

“Okay. I would never push you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek lightly.

* * *

 

“He’s gone?” Kensi was desolate.

 _He lied_ , she thought. _He said he would never leave, but he did anyway_.

“I’m afraid so, my dear,” Hetty said, putting her small hand on Kensi’s shoulder.

 _This feeling in my chest. The total destruction of my insides_ , Kensi thought. _My complete inability to do anything. That is what hurts right now._

 _The burns I feel wherever I remember his touch. The scars I can feel on my heart. All of it. All of the pain. I am never going to forgive him for this_.

* * *

 

Kensi woke with a start. She was curled up in the giant blanket on the blue couch in her living room. It was pitch dark, which for Los Angeles was a feat, so Kensi knew it must be at least two in the morning.

She extricated herself from the blanket and padded into their bedroom. At the closing of the door, Deeks sat up, but she grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom. She got ready for bed, brushing her teeth and washing her face.

When she exited the bathroom, Deeks was still sitting up, looking at her intently. He lifted the covers to help her under them, but she shook her head and returned to the couch.

She couldn’t lay there next to him when she still had this problem with Nate.

 _Don’t get me wrong_ , Kensi thought to herself. _I love Marty Deeks with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind. But I can’t just lay there and pretend like Nate didn’t used to get my heart rate spiking. I’ve got to talk to Nate tomorrow and straighten this out. Because there is no way I can let this go on._


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey sweetheart,” Deeks said, sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. “How are you?”

“Fine,” she said, grabbing a bagel and her keys. “I’ll make dinner tonight, okay? Unless I’ve got an assignment. You know the drill.”

“Of course I know the drill. I knew the drill long before I knew you… like this,” he said, kissing her neck and whispering in her ear.

“I’ve got to go,” Kensi said, wriggling out of his arms and grabbing her bag.

“Hey,” Deeks said, confused. When she didn’t turn around or answer, he said it more indignantly. “Hey. Kensi. Kensi!”

Deeks had come up behind her and grabbed her arm. “Kensi. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kensi whispered, but even she didn’t believe herself.

“Bull, Kensi. Bull. I know you. I know Kensi. And this girl that’s been walking around since I got home from undercover? She’s not Kensi.”

Suddenly she was angry. Very angry. “How do you know I’m not Kensi? I could be the real Kensi, and the person you’ve been dating all this time isn’t the real me! How do you know, Deeks?”

Deeks looked like she’d slapped him. Then she realized she hadn’t called him Deeks for eight months, when they got engaged.

“I just know, Kensi!” Deeks shouted, letting go of her and walking away.

Kensi turned to look at him, his shoulders slouching with every step as he walked toward the big leather chair in their living room. He sat in it, putting his face in his palm and resting his elbows on his knees.

“I just know.” This time it was quieter and calmer.

Seeing Deeks in such a defeated position unnerved Kensi, so she did what she always did. She ran.

* * *

 

“Hey there Kensi,” Callen said as he walked into the bullpen that morning and smiling at Kensi. One look from Kensi wiped the grin off his face for fear of bodily harm.

“Don’t worry, its not you,” Andy said, looking up from his desk across the floor. “I got the same greeting. She’s a regular ball of sunshine today.”

“Noted,” Called replied, sitting down at his desk.

“You will be happy to know that this little case will be wrapped in a pretty bow by tonight,” Sam said. “I got LAPD working for backup when Callen and I go in today.”

“Which means I’m going back to Boston tomorrow,” said the tall presence behind Kensi. _Nate. Dammit._

“About time,” Kensi said, tonelessly.

“Kensi, could I talk to you for a minute?” Nate asked.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” Kensi countered, plastering an overly fake smile on her face in sarcasm.

The minute the door closed in the training room, sound exploded.

“What the hell, NATE?”

“What?”

“You show up one day after you run off without a single trace two years ago and suddenly you expect everything to be exactly the same?”

“I didn’t expect that!”

"Yeah, ya did, Nate,” Kensi shouted, her time in the southwest rearing its ugly head in both her temper and accent. “You walked in the Ops Center and your face glowered at the ring on my finger.”

“I’m sorry I expected you to still be there for me.”

“Really? ‘Cause you don’t sound sorry. You just sound pissed. Which you have NO RIGHT to be. I didn’t leave you. I didn’t leave with out a single trace in the middle of the night and just not show up to work that day and not even give Hetty a note for you and I _certainly_ didn’t expect you to still be waiting for me when I got back after two years of AWOL. I didn’t do that, Nate! That was _you_!”

Kensi took a deep breath because her blood was rushing and her heart was spiking and anger was pulsing through her body. Then she did what she had been waiting two years to do. She slapped him so hard across the face that his head twisted and a five-star started to appear on his cheek.

“ _That_ was for leaving,” Kensi said evenly. Then she slapped him across the other cheek, swiveling his head again. “ _That_ was for the crap you have against Deeks-” then she kneed him in the crotch “-and _that_ was for me.”

Nate crumbled, which was quite a feat considering how big he was, and Kensi turned and left the room, slamming the door behind her. She looked over the balcony to see Eric, Nell, Sam, Callen, and Andy all standing in the bullpen staring up at her. For some reason this made her even angrier, so, for the second time that day, Kensi bolted.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the last day of the case, and Kensi didn’t know what the hell to do with herself. She should have stayed and helped plan the raid, but she couldn’t. She had slapped (and a few other things) her best friend and run away from her problems.

If she went back to the bullpen, they would ask questions. All of them. Sam would make a crack about getting on her bad side, Callen would nod knowingly in that way that only he can, and she just couldn’t face it. So she ran. Out of the office, off the block, down the street, towards the boardwalk.

She didn’t know why. It was like something was pulling her there. She kept running, in her sensible shoes and flouncy top, completely out of place with the hard-core runners that kept popping up left and right. She kept running until she saw the ocean.

It’s not that far from the office to the ocean, actually. It always seems like a densely wooded area, but the trees back off real quick when the ocean’s near, and the ocean comes fast in this area.

She hit the boardwalk and reveled in the hollow sound it makes when you slam your feet against its worn boards. She just kept running. There was salty wind in her ponytail and cacophonous drumming from the guys with buckets down the way. As her shoes hit sand, she started to slow. She slowed enough to take off her shoes, one by one, tilting to either side to shuck them into the sand. She slowed more to let her toes sink into the soft, white beach of southern California, bright and shiny and perfect. And she slowed finally to a stop right at the water’s edge, clamoring down the hill to where the tides stopped. Finally she was still.

Kensi looked around. It was Thursday morning, so it wasn’t very busy on the boardwalk, and there were few people spread out on blankets or under umbrellas. It was too early for the lunch crowd to start lining up around the food trucks in the parking lot, bros in business suits completely out of sync with the ocean-scape around them. But it wasn’t to early for the surfers.

It took her a moment to realize it. But the only real people up at this hour on the beach were people with boards. Not the little boogies, or ones paired with a long oar. It was too rough for that. This was the golden hour, when the classic surfers came out. And they were all around her. With each breath another came from over her shoulder, running with their board and hollering to their friends as they hit the water. They dove and paddled like a strange school of fish, chasing the same waves.

Kensi sat right at the water’s edge for a long time. It may have only been minutes, but it felt like hours. She felt herself get invested in each surfer’s attempt to catch a wave; excited when they did and upset when they plummeted from its heights.

It could have been forever. Who could tell? Only that one surfer began to catch her eye consistently. He was shiny and bronzed, golden and handsome and good. It was hundreds of yards away but she could tell. He was handsome and _good_. He caught waves the rest couldn’t. He scored tricks in the tunnels others wouldn’t dare. And he always had a big grin on his face. Kensi could see it from the beach.

As time passed and the morning hour waned, the waves became less, in anticipation of the mid-day tide. As they grew less, more and more surfers glided in. They picked up their boards, grabbed the shoulders of their friends and siblings, talking about this wave and that pass and did you see them when they hit the tunnel? All shuffling off with boards in tow, off to their day jobs or whatever they do when they aren’t riding the sea.

But not him. Kensi watched as he took wave after wave. Even the smaller ones, ones you wouldn’t even give the time of day during the golden hour, but became palatable once the good time was gone. He kept diving towards the waves, riding up and over the bouncing surf over and over.

Kensi watched, transfixed. It was as if he was surfing away from something. But that was ridiculous. If anything, surfing was a tangential sport. You never surfed away or toward anything, only against it. Right next to it. But still he tried.

He tried over and over again, until an impossible moment happened. It was magic, as if he felt defeat by the waves. That there were no more good waves to be ridden this morning. In truth, it was probably an alarm on his waterproof watch, or a look at the clock tower down the Bay, but in that moment, when he suddenly turned from chasing waves to letting them take him back to land, to Kensi it felt like magic.

It felt more like magic as he continued to ride the swell in, getting closer and closer. Soon her mysterious handsome surfer became a defined person, one she knew well. As he came closer, the disheveled sun-streaked blonde became familiar, the quirk of his eyebrows and dopey grin becoming recognizable. By the time his feet hit the sand, carrying his beloved board with copper wings painted on the fin end, Kensi knew it was him.

“Kensi, what are you doing here?”

She didn’t even know how to begin to answer that question. To explain that she had to run, something she never did, to explain that when all is said and done, people leave her. Everyone she loves has left her at one time or another, but now she knows better. Now she leaves first. She couldn’t find the words to explain it. She settled for this:

“I didn’t know you still surfed.”

That made him laugh. Big hyena cackles that she teases him about when things aren’t so hard.

“Kensi, I’m always surfing,” Deeks answered, smile still stretched across his face. ”Since I left NCIS, I’ve been able to surf every day. I’ve missed a few weeks because of the undercover op, but I never stopped surfing.”

Kensi nodded, as if this was sage advice, the key to the universe. He took notice of her silence and dropped his board, scooping her up in the tightest hug she could imagine. His arms, toned from undercover and the waves, made bands of pressure around her waist and her ribcage, and he pressed so closely to her that she could still smell the algae stink of the sea and feel his heartbeat through his chest.

Deeks still said nothing. They just stood there, clasped tightly together, unable to let the other go.

Kensi broke the silence first.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, and she could hear his furrowed brow in his voice.

“Before I met you, before you transferred to NCIS, Nate and I were… I don’t know, dating I guess.”

“I kinda figured based on his sunny reception.”

“No, Deeks,” she felt him stiffen at his last name, “—Marty, we were together. I was in love with him.”

Kensi paused, waiting for some kind of reaction. She waited a long time, as she could feel him thinking as they swayed, feet ankle deep in the California sand.

“Sure.”

His reaction startled her. It was so calm, so simple.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, sure,” he repeated. “You were in love with someone before you met me? That’s what almost always happens.”

She pulled away at that.

“You don’t understand,” Kensi insisted. “I was in love with him. Very much. And I think part of me still is.”

“What do you want me to say, Kens?” he asked, hesitating just before saying the nickname. “You can’t possibly love anyone else in the world? Only me? There are lots of different kinds of love. You and your dad? Deep, paternal love. Sam and Callen? That inexplicable brotherly love of chosen family. Nate? He’s the one who you loved who left. Who left a hole in your heart that you’ve mostly filled over, but still has a little hole, right down deep. Don’t expect me to fill that hole. It’s always going to be there. But I can cover it over sometimes. Wrap you in my arms just like this and tell you it’s all okay. Because it is.”

Deeks reached out and pulled Kensi in again, cradling the back of her head in his big, dumb hands and starting to sway again.

“You are not my first love, Kensi Blye. I know I’m not yours either. But you’re going to be my last love. I promise you that. Forever.”

At that moment, everything that had happened since Nate returned seemed to dissipate, leaving just Kensi and Marty and the California sunshine and the waves. And at that moment, finally feeling like herself again, Kensi started to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

Kensi _never_ ran. She was earth and fire, grounded and fighting all the time. So the image of Kensi as a flighty sparrow of a woman was disconcerting to everyone in the bullpen. Sure, they’d heard shouting, but Kensi usually shouted, about everything from sweet potatoes to injustice. Then she would stand her ground. Not bail.

“What was that about?” Eric asked, always asking dopey questions with childlike concern. His answer came not from anyone in the bullpen, but the giant that opened the training room door, hobbling a little and holding his face. He got all the way to the group before someone spoke up.

“What did you do?” Sam gave Callen a face, like he shouldn’t have said anything.

“I forgot to call,” Nate replied wryly, wincing at his injuries.

“When?” Nell asked.

“Two years ago.”

“What happened two years ago?” Andy asked, and they turned to face him, as if everyone had forgotten he was there and hadn’t been around last time. It felt like Nate should be the one to answer, but he was saved by Hetty. As he often was.

“Mr. Getz,” she called across the cavernous room, and Nate scampered to get over to her desk.

“What happened two years ago?” Andy asked again.

“Well, Kensi and Nate were...” Sam paused as he tried to figure out a delicate way to describe it.

“--a thing” Eric cut in.

“Thanks, Eric.”

“What?”

“No one really knew about it,” Sam tempered, “Or at least, we all pretended we didn’t know. It wasn’t official, but we all could tell.”

“So what? He got reassigned and didn’t tell anyone?”

Callen smirked. “You should be careful. You’re getting dangerously Eric-Beal-ish in your dumb questions.”

“Callen.”

“Fine, fine. He didn’t so much leave as take off into the night without so much as a phone number on a cocktail napkin.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously, Detective Cupcake,” Callen replied. “He left all of us, but he left Kensi the most. Which reminds me, there’s something I need to do.”

With that ominous statement, Callen turned and left the bullpen, heading up the stairs in the same direction Hetty had beckoned Nate moments ago. Sam was the first to speak.

“That’s not good.”

“That’s an understatement,” Eric replied.

* * *

 

“Hey Nate.”

Nate turned sharply over his shoulder. He had just left a frankly unsettling conversation with Hetty, though most people could count their settling conversations with her on one hand. Because of this he was not in the mood to be surprised. But no one had told Callen that.

“Whoa. Callen. Didn’t see you there,” Nate replied, trying to shrug off his jumpiness.

“That’s the point. We should talk,” Callen began, putting his arm up and over Nate’s shoulders and guiding him down the hallway. For a short-- no, never short, Callen would kill him if he called him short-- decently average but shorter-than-Nate-guy, the ease with which Callen threw his arm over Nate’s shoulder was a bit unnerving. Nate had seen him do this time and again with marks in the past, so it did nothing to ease his suspicions.

“What exactly about? I’m leaving by the end of today.”

“See, I think of Kensi as a sister. A little sister. A little sister who can kick my ass, as it were.”

“Sure, but I—“

“No, no. Let me finish. I think of Kensi as a little sister. Sam and I both do. You, obviously don’t, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“I mean, I suppose—“

“Nate, let me speak plainly.” Callen stopped their progress down the hallway to face him. Despite his lack of height, he was dangerous with that look in his eye.

“Please dear god, speak plainly, Callen. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The dumb act is a little tired, Nate. See, we all had to deal with Kensi when you left. Not exactly deal, because she’s like family, but we did deal, since Kensi’s not exactly a muffin of joy when she’s in a mood. But we made it work. She was broken when you left. You didn’t even leave a damn note? What made you think that would work out in your favor?”

“I-“ Callen stopped him with a glare.

“Not yet. Soon, but not yet. We finally put her back together, and Deeks saunters in with his beautiful hair and his puppy eyes and she started to sort herself out. She was practically normal and then your dumb face arrives in our Ops Center. And now you want her back? Is that what you want?”

There was a long silence.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you done with the lecture? Am I permitted to speak?”

“Don’t be a smartass, Nate.”

“Then don’t do the vintage big brother routine, G,” Nate shot back. “What did you say? ‘It’s tired.’ Kensi can fight for herself-“ he motioned to his face, where a savage black-eye was developing, “-obviously, and she doesn’t need you trying to protect her honor or whatever.”

“Of course not. Kensi kicked your ass for herself, on her own terms. But just because she’s gotten her vengeance doesn’t mean we have exacted our own.”

“What, are you going to fight me? Right now? In this hallway?” Nate shouted, causing some of the people down the way to turn.

Callen didn’t answer right away. He rubbed his scruff and took a deep breath.

“No. I’m not going to fight you. Don’t be a moron, Nate. But I’m asking you to not be an idiot. You coming back here after forever expecting her to be waiting by the door like some World War Two housewife was a little unreasonable, don’t you think? That notwithstanding, expecting her to be waiting at all once you basically shredded her is incredibly unreasonable.”

“I was never expecting her to be waiting,” Nate blustered.

“Every single action you have taken since you arrived would suggest otherwise. But she moved on. She is _happy_. Or, at least, she was before you waltzed into Ops. Now you’re going to fix it.”

“I don’t even know how—“

“Fix it, Nate. Fix it now.”

With that, Callen poked the psychologist in the chest, hard, and continued down the hallway, calling for Sam to find out where his SWAT gear was possibly hidden.

* * *

 

Deeks insisted that he take Kensi to breakfast. After she stopped crying her eyes out on the beach, he tied his board to his frankly-too-fancy car and changed out of the clingy wetsuit into a t-shirt and cargo shorts. Kensi liked him better this way. Not that she didn’t enjoy the way the wetsuit hugged his muscles, but in his cargos and a tee, he looked softer. Cozier. More like the Marty she loved.

They walked down the street to a little diner. When you’re on the boardwalk already, you can’t spit without hitting a good place for dive food, but that was just the way Kensi liked it. Mr. Granola-man Deeks always teased her about her proclivity for greasy food, but would steal her hash browns given the slightest opportunity. She figured he should just get the damn skillet instead of wimping out with the chia bowl.

Over a farmer’s breakfast, an egg-white omelet (she couldn’t convince him otherwise, he wants to keep his beach body for the honeymoon), and a whole mess of hashbrowns, they hashed it out. Pardon the pun. Kensi started at the beginning, hesitant at first, but once the floodgates were open it poured out.

She told him everything. Everything he could handle, anyway. He would tap the table, mouth full of **her** farmer’s breakfast when he’d heard enough, and she would continue. Telling the tales of days but not kisses, trajectories but not intimacy. He could tell from her voice; he didn’t need to hear the gruesome details.

When the plates were empty and she stopped speaking, he paid the check and it was his turn. He spoke of sunny days busting bad guys and walking into the Ops Center to she her shining face. He mentioned that time she was a pack rat, or rather still is, and when she kept three moving boxes full of childhood crap in the bullpen. Each time was something wonderful and more. It completely eclipsed her cloudy mood, and soon she could only think of lazy afternoons and sparkling Sundays.

They walked out of the diner hand in hand.


	7. Chapter 7

“Do you remember when Nell joined the team?”

Kensi turned to Deeks behind the wheel, driving them back to the NCIS office.

“Do I ever,” he returned.

They had been swapping old NCIS stories since they left the diner, tongues loosened by a good meal and all the trauma-sharing that came before it.

“I wasn’t that bad!” Kensi shot back.

“Are you sure about that? I took quite a beating when she joined the team.”

“Don’t be such a wuss.”

* * *

 

“I just can’t stand her sometimes,” Kensi said, irritated. The whole team was in the Ops center but Deeks and Kensi. He was standing next to her while she pumped the wall, pounding the life out of the cement frame.

“Hey… hey… hey,” he said, pulling her active hand away from the wall it was hitting.

“She’s just like my old friends in junior high, you know? Catty, annoying, know-it-all? You know?”

Deeks could tell that trying to speak at this point would be death. So he let her vent. Significantly. But he made sure to hold her arms while he did so she didn’t bruise her fists more than necessary- her hands were too pretty to be black and blue.

“And I can’t believe that Hetty keeps her around? I mean, I know Nate’s gone, but she’s got to know how annoying she is!”

“Kensi… Kensi, sweetheart, chill,” Deeks said, letting go of her arms to put his hands on her shoulders.

Mistake. Kensi had expressed her feelings before on his terms of endearment. Namely, that she didn’t like them. The look she gave him made Deeks want to shrivel into a cardboard box and sleep for days, watching _Private Practice_ and listening to Barry Manilow.

Not that he did either of those things.

She started to walk towards the Ops Center door, but he grabbed one of her arms, and prayed she didn’t slap him for it.

“Kens, it’ll be okay. Whenever you want to smack her, just keep it in. You can smack me that many times when we leave and we’re in the car.” It was a peace offering for his earlier slip-up, but it worked, nonetheless.

* * *

 

She hit him seven times when they got in the car. Punched, really.

“Kens!”

“You said I could!”

“I know!” he paused to nurse his shoulder, which had taken the grunt of the blows.

“So why are you surprised?”

“I didn’t think she annoyed you that much!”

“Well she does!”

“Okay, okay!” Deeks put his hands up in surrender. “C’mon, we have a crime scene to get to. Can’t be late because you’ve been maiming your partner.”

“I barely hit you. You’re fine.”

* * *

“I can’t believe I forgot about that,” Kensi replied, after Deeks had recounted the tale.

“You forgot? You punched me in the arm at least five times a day for a month and a half. I can tell when it will rain these days because of your vendetta against Nell.”

“It was not a vendetta.” But even in the saying of it, Kensi didn’t believe it. She was harsh when Nell first arrived, because she felt that she had replaced Nate. Even though they are in different disciplines, even though she found her own handsome man, even though she and Nell have sort-of figured themselves out. She was rough on Nell. And it was unfair.

“Call it what you want,” Deeks laughed, pulling into the office lot, “But it was a painful turnaround.”

“I should apologize.”

“Thank you. I accept your apology.”

“Not you, moron,” Kensi replied, but even so, she was smiling. “Nell. I’ve been shit to her.”

“I think she’d appreciate it,” Deeks offered, taking her hand across the console.

“Do we have to go back?”

“I think so, babe.”

Kensi groaned. “Ugh. This is going to suck.”

* * *

 

Kensi and Deeks rolled into the bullpen several hours after Kensi bolted. It was quieter in the office than when she left, but that might have been because no one was there. The bullpen was deserted.

“Where did everyone—“

“They went on the raid without me,” Kensi answered. “Rude. Hett-y!”

Kensi said it the way Deeks had always heard her say it when yelling—she turned it into a three-syllable word, getting higher in pitch with each one. She did the same thing with Marty when she hollered across the house.

“Yes, Ms. Blye?” Hetty appeared as she always did, right around a corner or from a shadow.

“You guys started the raid without me?”

“Ms. Blye, you were absent. We did not know when you would return, and your position on this particular operation was that of non-essential backup. Our friends at the LAPD were able to absorb your position into their plans.”

“I see.” It was clear she did not see.

“If you would like to monitor the progress of the operation, you are free to join Mr. Beal, Ms. Jones, and Mr. Getz in Ops.”

“I think I’ll do that. Can Deeks come?”

“The LAPD is also on scene, so it would be appropriate for Mr. Deeks to attend.”

“Thanks, Hetty,” Kensi smiled, taking Deeks’ hand and dragging him up the staircase to Ops.

Once they arrived, it seemed that the operation had concluded. They entered to room to a cacophony of “Hands behind your head!” and “Show me your hands!” from the monitors covering the wall.

Eric and Nell mediated all of the information, feeding facts and instructions to the team’s earpieces. Nate was slouched against one of the tables behind. Once all the business had been solved and Eric stopped speaking for a moment, Kensi interrupted.

“Hey guys. How’d it go?”

“Kensi! Where were you? I was worried!” Nell turned and ran to Kensi, taking her hand and looking up at the towering woman. It completely befuddled Kensi.

“I had, um, I needed some time to figure some stuff out. I’m sorry.”

Nell nodded. “I totally get it. You’ve been doing so much!”

“But really, Nell. I wanted to apologize. Deeks has been reminding me I was terrible to you when you first got here—“

“-And for a decent time after that,” Deeks interjected. Kensi bumped him with her hip.

“-What I _mean_ is, I’m sorry. You’re really wonderful, and I shouldn’t have been so catty.”

Nell waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. Change is hard. Even for me.”

“You’re damn right!” Eric called from the other side of the room.

“Stop it!” Nell replied, giggling even as she said it.

Kensi turned to Deeks. “Forgive me for ruining your meticulous plans?”

“Always. What are you—“

“Nell, would you be one of my bridesmaids?”

Nell beamed, and stuttered, “what? I-- of course! I mean, yeah—yes!”

“Good.”

“Kens, we were going to keep the party small. Just Sam and G and your friends from college and this is going to be uneven now—“

Kensi stopped him. “Please?”

Her big smile seemed to turn him in an instant. “Eric! You wanna be a groomsman?”

“Can I wear my shorts?”

“Absolutely not!” Deeks shot back. “The groomsmen are wearing charcoal grey suits with navy ties and pocket squares. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Fine. I’ll do it.” At that moment someone started talking in Eric’s ear, and he quickly turned and started spitting out sequences of letters and numbers. Nell was called on headset as well, and she reached up to give Kensi a quick hug before returning to the screens.

“Thanks babe,” Kensi said, turning to wrap her arm around Deeks. “I know you’ve been planning for months.”

“I refuse to become a groom-zilla, but Eric is going to wear that slim-cut charcoal suit if I have to pin him down.” Kensi laughed.

“Hey Kensi?” They turned, and Nate had shuffled towards them.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say sorry. For everything. Everything, everything. I’ve been a lot of things, but I haven’t been good to you. And that’s on me. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Kensi replied, looking up at him softly. “We were both disasters back then.”

“But that’s it. You figured yourself out of being a disaster. I haven’t yet, I guess. So I’m sorry.” Nate stuffed his hands in his back pockets, adopting the slump of defeat.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kensi said, letting go of Deeks to take Nate’s shoulders. “You helped me through some tough times. I’ll always be thankful.”

Impulsively, Kensi reached around his neck and pulled him into a hug. Nate froze for a brief moment, before wrapping his arms around her. The hold was strong and deep. And after a moment, they let go, and it was still okay.

The guys came back from the operation, locked up the necessary bad guys, and all of them decided to go out for tacos to celebrate. All of them. Nate resisted at first, protesting that he should just head to the airport, but Kensi gave him a prod in his chest and he agreed. Nell came down from Ops, gushing about bridesmaid duties, and Kensi warned that she would have to deal with Lydia and Frances from college, which Nell only took in stride. Nell had faced scarier demons, Kensi knew. Kensi gave G a strong talking to about defending her with men, G conceded, and she returned, as she always does, to holding Deeks’ hand as they all walked out of Ops together.

“You okay?” Kensi had been in her own head as they got to the car to drive to Maria’s Canteria down the way.

“Hm?”

“Kens. You okay?” Deeks asked again.

“Yeah,” she replied, meaning it for the first time in a while. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Good.” With that, Deeks pulled her in for a kiss, achieving half a dip before Kensi righted herself and climbed into the driver’s seat. If Deeks worried about Kensi driving his baby today, he didn’t voice it. That was a tomorrow fight. Tonight, there was only Kensi, driving with the windows down, hair whipping in the wind, free and easy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and review y'all.


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